HokieJayBee's NFL Week 8

What’s up? Week 8, NFL season 2009. Almost half done L. Although with my Hokies falling to GT and UNC, I will admit my NFL fandom percentage has increased, despite the fact that I’m a Redskin fan. Shhhhhhh. One note: Fire Bryan Stinespring.

[I] 2009 Season Stats

Season Totals:

71.13% straight up picks for your office pool (69-28)

60.00% against the spread this year on recommended plays (45-30)

54.90% over-all including the recommended no-actions (56-46)

Last week was the “Really?” edition with strong teams not playing the part against some weaker opponents. This week I pretty much have no complaints.

Thoughts for the past week:

*I went (9-4) in the straight up picks for your office pool. Not for the spread, missed Carolina, Atlanta, Chicago, and NYG to win. Don’t feel bad about Atlanta or Chicago as I had them to outright win as dogs. And I guess the Giants at least played a worthy opponent. But Carolina? Wow, you suck. You and Tennessee are now dead to me, I can’t hang on any longer knowing “you’re better than that, just had a rough schedule to start”.

*I did however make bank this week with the book. Went (8-5) overall but (7-2) against the spread on the recommended picks. For you mathematicians, that’s (1-3) in NO ACTION plays as well.

*This means two things. One, I’ll friggin take a (7-2) (77.78%) week every week on recommended plays. That’s good money. Two, I’m back to at least knowing which games to avoid. Or at least which games I might like a dog in, but it’s a good matchup so I’ll avoid it (chicken out).

*My two losses against the spread on recommended plays were caused by Houston going in cruise control too early against the Niners on a back-up QB, and by the Carolina Punters.

Season 2009, Trains I’m on:

*Peyton Manning (wow)

*Carson Palmer /Tom Brady (rehabilitation wonders)

*Steelers (this spot was the Vikings’ last week. That PITT defense is looking more like last year’s D already. One week with Troy Palomalululoulalaloumalulamoola back.)

*Saints (down 24-3 early in Miami. Psssssssssssshhhh.)

*Broncos (I admit it now. Hi, I’m HokieJayBee, and I like the Broncos. Uniforms.)

Season 2009, Trains I’m not on:

*Michael Crabtree (could be your last week on this list, drum rolllllll)

*Braylen Edwards (now the assault charges come out, lovely)

*Clinton Portis, Jason Campbell, Jim Zorn (debacle)

*Matt Forte (no longer watch list, I sold my Forte tickets this weekend.)

*Larry Johnson (now you’re anti-coach tweeting and slinging gay slurs. Classy. Joe Pa must be proud.)

Train Watch List (could be going in either the right or wrong direction):

*Tom Brady/New England (94-7 over their last two games. Of course you can’t move onto the train list for beating two winless teams in that manner, but still….)

*Joe Flacco (we’ll see this week out of the bye with undefeated Denver in town. Beware of one Elvis Dumervil.)

[II] Week 8 Picks/Comments – Enginerd Table

GAME		LINE	OFFICE POOL WINNER	SPREAD WINNER	FAVE OR DOG?	ACTION?	HEART / COMMENT	PREDICTED SCORE
1	SEA @ DAL	DAL -9.5	DAL	DAL	FAVE	YES	I don’t care about Romo and this Miles Austin guy. For Dallas opponents, I’d be more wary to see that Dallas D back and playing well. On top of that Seattle is notoriously horrible on the road, and their best O lineman is out for the year. I’m also seeing a breakout game from Jason Witten with Miles Austin getting all that attention from the safety. I would consider locking this up at -6.5, but not a lock up at -9.5.	DAL 27-16
2	HOU @ BUF	HOU -3.5	HOU	HOU	FAVE	YES	Two teams matchup here that are tough to read this year. The Bills have been playing their hearts out to try and save Dick Jauron’s job. Houston is my Jekyll and Hyde team for the year already. I’m just not seeing the Fitzpatrick led Bills scoring enough to keep up with Houston’s passing game. If Slaton doesn’t fumble, the Texans might roll big.	HOU 24-13
3	MIN @ GB	GB -3.5	MIN	MIN	DOG	NO	Great game. Favre-fest part II. At Lambeau this time. Don’t really know how I feel about this one, and I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you. I think Favre and company, getting the win in round 1 of this match in Minnesota, have less pressure to win here. I think GB is under the gun here to keep up in the division and will be tighter. I’m taking MINN to outright win on the road because the Packers still have a horrible O Line and the Vikings are still strong up front on D.	MINN 27-24 (Minnesota outright win)
4	STL @ DET	DET -3.5	DET	DET	FAVE	YES	Both these teams suck, and they’re both so littered with injuries that Vegas originally didn’t have a line out this week. I assume waiting on the status of Bulger/Stafford/Culpepper – and Calvin Johnson. Unless a solid line comes out before print time, I’m going to take Detroit at home here and take credit for a win if they win and whine about the lack of line if they lose.	DET 13-6
5	MIA @ NYJ	NYJ -3.5	MIA	MIA	DOG	NO	Another great divisional game, another chicken out. The Wildcat is in full effect, and the Jets are banged up, up front on D. The Jets have a great secondary, but Miami won’t be throwing much. And Mark Sanchez will be back home here to face a tough divisional game rather than against Oakland like last week. I see the Dolphins slowing this game down and grinding it out on the road. Either way, close game and I’m making it NO ACTION.	MIA 24-23 (Miami outright win)
6	SF @ IND	IND -12.5	IND	IND	FAVE	YES	The Colts are good. -12.5 doesn’t scare me here at home, with a West Coast team coming in on a QB switch and a banged up RB. Peyton Manning will throw for 325, 3 TD’s, no picks. Colts win.	IND 31-17
7	CLE @ CHI	CHI -13.5	CHI	CHI	FAVE	YES	How can this line be bigger than the Colt’s line? Either way I see Chicago bouncing back at home after getting smoked at Cinci last week. The Bears will be fine at home against a bad Browns team. The -13.5 worries me slightly, but I honestly can’t willingly say aloud, “I think the Browns will cover.” Because I stick to only taking 4 NO ACTION picks per week, I’m sticking action pick here with the Bears at home. This bet says more about the ineptitude of the Browns than it does about the Bears.	CHI 24-6
8	DEN @ BAL	BAL -3.5	DEN	DEN	DOG	NO	Another great great game. Despite my recent love for Denver, I can’t take them on an action pick here. With that Baltimore D coming off of a bye week, this game is going to be tight and close either way. I think Denver can win a tight game with their own big time D, but I’m still a little worried to see Kyle Orton on the road here against a tight D.	DEN 20-17 (Denver outright win)
9	JAC @ TEN	TEN -2.5	JAC	JAC	DOG	YES	When I first saw this line, I thought it was JAC -2.5, and I still was going to take the Jags. Then I noticed I read it wrong and it was TENN -2.5. Chuckle. I know TENN is coming off of a bye, but they’re in shambles. Do you think Vince Young has a decent game against JAC’s D? I don’t see them stopping Garrard and MJD enough to stay competitive, even if V Young doesn’t cost TENN the game.	JAC 20-17 (Jacksonville outright win)
10	OAK @ SD	SD -16.5	SD	SD	FAVE	YES	Wow. A 16-17 point spread in an NFL game? In a divisional game, even if it is the AFC West. And, I shy not away. San Diego rolls at home here. Oakland is bad and San Diego has to keep pace with Denver. San Diego will be focused here.	SD 27-6
11	NYG @ PHI	PHI -0.5	NYG	NYG	DOG	NO	Great game = chicken. We’ve proven that. I almost felt like tossing a coin here, but I just see the NYG going back to running, and running, and running. Philly is hurt with the lack of Brian Westbrook, so the Giants can leave an extra LB or SS in pass coverage to try and neutralize Philly’s wideouts.	NYG 24-20 (New York outright win)
12	CAR @ ARI	ARI -9.5	ARI	ARI	FAVE	YES [LOCK]	Locking up the Cardinals heading back home here after a big win at the NYG last week. Carolina is on the verge of benching Jake Delhomme and I think this loss and 3 more picks will do him in. Arizona’s D is coming into last year’s playoff form and this offense has so many weapons.	ARI 27-7
13	ATL @ NO	NO -9.5	NO	NO	FAVE	YES	New Orleans has had some big games this year. This is their first prime time game of the year, and I don’t think they’ll disappoint. Atlanta is coming off getting smoked by Dallas and I think the Saints will try and distance themselves in the division with a statement game. With 2 starters out in the Atlanta secondary as well, I don’t see New Orleans not scoring 40,…..again.	NO 40-26

--taking 5 dogs this week

-- conveniently, 4 of those 5 dogs are recommended NO-ACTION, making all 4 NO-ACTION picks a dog, again. trend?

[III] 10 or so things I think I think.

1. I think these are my top 5 teams right now:

(After 7 weeks I’m able to start claiming there’s an order here.)

1. NO – I have nothing more to say than, at no point, even when I saw 24-3 Miami this week in the second quarter, did I think for one millisecond that you would lose.
2. INDY – you’re playing better than New Orleans right now, but against lesser opponents.
3. DENV – up to #3 in my top 5? Wow. From chicken to Bronco lover. Prove me right this week in Baltimore.
4. NEW ENG – I don’t know what to say here. (5-2) going into the bye week, just straight stomping mud holes in people. I’m not claiming anything Super Bowl related yet, but they sure as heck ain’t losing this division to the Jets, ‘phins, or Bills.
5. PITT – big win this week against the Vikes. That defense looks back, and looks mean. Straight into a bye week too, to get even more healthy in the secondary.

2. I think these are my bottom 5 teams right now:

(After 7 weeks I’m able to start claiming there’s an order here.)

1. WASH – you have two more wins than some other teams in the league, but there sure as hell isn’t another organization in as bad of a place as you right now.
2. TAMPA – not even competitive in your losses. Quick, NFL fans out there, name the Tampa starting QB.
3. DET/STL – you two shitstains play this week. I guess I can move the winner off this list?
4. TENN – heading home this week after a bye, to host a divisional foe. Lose this and you’re looking at 0-16 or 1-15, fur reels.
5. CAR/OAK – I can’t decide who to put on here……I guess I’ll go with whomever benches their starting QB first. If your coach and organization are benching them and giving up, I guess I can safely list you in my bottom 5.

3. I think too much has already been made about Jeff Fisher of the Titans wearing a Peyton Manning jersey to a charity event. First, the charity event was for an organization for Tony Dungy (Peyton’s former coach), so it was at least a relevant player from another NFL team. Second, who cares? It’s a shirt. A friggin shirt. Maybe the Titan’s players offended their coach would wear the shirt of a rival quarterback should go out and earn some respect to get their own shirts worn in tribute, rather than whining about this.

4. I think sometimes you should worry less about tricking your opponents and worry more about lining up and running a play you’re good at, or have the personnel for. Bigger, better, stronger, faster. The Vikings had the ball at the Steeler 6 inch line at one point last week, 1^st and goal. And they only ran Adrian Peterson one of the three plays before kicking a field goal. Trying to run play action throws on the other two. Umm, if you’ve already conceded that you’ll kick the FG on 4^th down, no way you don’t just run the best RB in the league at the goal line three straight plays. Horrible coaching.
5. I think I have a new favorite wide receiver. Wes Welker is the definition of steady. 8-10 catches a game, maybe a touchdown here or there. EVERY week. Never hear him talk in the media. Never hear him whine. And my favorite part, he doesn’t try and break every play to the sidelines or risk going backwards to make a move. He makes the catch, finds the defender, finds the first down marker, and dives forward for that extra 3-yards, EVERY time he touches the ball. Solid.
6. I think it’s funny that when things are going well for the Bears or Giants, people love how stoic and unwavering Jay Cutler and Eli Manning look, respectively. But, when things are going bad, or more specifically when they’re running for their life with no O-line protection, those same people bitch how flabbergasted, pouty, and out of place those same QB’s look. What?!?!? That’s the same face! That’s Magnum, and Blue Steel. That’s the same face! Both these teams have bigger worries trying to stop the opposing team’s QB ripping their secondary apart than to worry about facial expressions of their QB’s in a loss.
7. I think I’d like to welcome back a couple pass catchers to league, or at least to point of their stats being meaningful at all. Welcome back, Chad Johnson (Ocho, Whatever) and Jeremy Shockey. Good to see you back in relevance.
8. I think my non-football thought of the week this week is that Major League Baseball couldn’t root for two better line-ups in their World Series. I’m not going to get into TV viewership or fan-bases or general feeling from the nation on NYY vs. PHIL – but for just two great teams with stacked line-ups meeting up – this could be a great series. Hate for either the Yanks or the Phils aside, you have to admit these two teams have a couple murderer’s rows to pitch through.
9. This week’s Jerome Bettis Award goes to wide receivers on both teams of the Monday Night Football game this week:
1. 2^nd year man, 2^nd round pick, Devin Thomas catches a touchdown to bring the ‘skins within 2 (or 3?) scores. Super pre-choreographed dance ensues, to include some flying-like-a-bird motion as you run off the field. Now, I almost gave you a pass, as this was your first NFL touchdown. But I can’t. The ‘skins suck, and you’re losing a game, badly, at home, on MNF. Get to the sideline and prepare for your next drive, chump. Celebrate later with your family. 2^nd round picks have more than one TD in their 23^rd NFL game.
2. The second award this week is part Jerome Bettis, part Martin Grammatica award, for celebrating and hurting yourself during said celebration. So I’m not so much saying that Deshaun Jackson didn’t deserve to celebrate his second of two long TD’s last night, as much as laughing at him straining his foot doing his TD dance. He had to leave the game for x-rays/MRI’s from the little diddy. He returned for a couple plays late in the game to test out the foot and appeared to be ok, but still funny as crap. TD dance danger level > playing NFL football danger level.
10. This week’s Just Shut Up Award goes to Larry Johnson. I don’t even need to expound on this one. Long story short, frustrated player, anti-coach tweeting, gay slurs at reporters. Grow up, cock bag. Google “Larry Johnson Twitter” if you want to read more. My JSU Award this week is to Larry personally, but in a more broad sense these athletes need to be a little more careful with all the media outlets and technological advances now. Twitter/Facebook/etc. are not your friend.

Ruh-Roh

Quick Thoughts

That sucks but having seen the D get shredded all season, not that surprised. That sorta sucks, not being surprised. This actually diminishes GiT a lil. If UNC can run on tech ....

The O

• UNC played the bammer/nebraska defense with NFL quality players. This did not surprise me.
• DL 2nd only to bammer in talent though no Cody, Suh type studs.
• Carter is a freak.
• O for 2 games in a row did not take advantage of good, early field positon.
• Williams is still my boy
• Get off Randall is tons better than Tyrod Taylor. Ummm, Randall midway thru his Jr year ... was not.
• Decent receivers but a game breaker would be nice.
  

The D

• UNC's OC did an amazing job attacking Bud.
  
• Foster is trying and doing things but the team is limited.
• Nekos Brown had 1 play all night, the first one.
• The DT's are getting owned now by UNC (who has a below avg OL) bammer, Nebraska and GiT previously owned them. A trend.
• The middle linebackers are average at best, combine that with a below avg VT DL, bad news.
• Kam is not a free safety
• Corners are fine as is Cody Grimm.
• Really can't be argued, it shows week in and week out.

ECU will not be easy, I can easily see a loss here. Their OL, QB and RB will test the front 7 of the Hokies big time.

College Football Viewing Guide Week 9 (Trick & Treat Edition)

From BCO Pix2

Ah, the perils of parity, I had it wrong last week, as far this weekend being a treat viewing weekend ... only half are must see games. So there are Tricks and Treats.

First Thursday is an important day for my Hokies. Need to push thru the last lost and the mini controversy surrounding it and try to win out. Stranger things have happened than a shitty team beating a favorite denying them a conference (or national) championship berth. My favorite, P.I.T.T. beating the neers a few years back. Ok, enough of me smiling, time to wipe the field with Butch Davis. He and his teams have played Tech way too close, I need a beat down! A pic stolen off the Techsideline message boards, but here is Butch Davis coaching from his tower, taken this week. Also Orange unis ... throwbacks or new duds?

From BCO Pix2

Halloween! Trick, waiting all damn day for a game to mean something!! Treat, picture the BCO sitting Al Bundy like Saturday night about 8:30, trick or treating is done, he has a lap full of candy wrappers, Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye in 1 hand and the remote flipping from USC-UO and UT-OSU in the other. A great damn holiday!!

From BCO Pix2

Last week's picks and to date tally
straight up 5-3 to date 42-22 --- 66%
against the spread 5-3 to date 33-31 --- 52%

Hell yeah, finally over the gambling mendoza line, took bloody long enough, let's see if I can keep it up.

Thursday, October 29th
UNC (4-3) [+17] at VT (5-2) 7:40 pm espn
Will GiT and chopgate down VT twice? Is UNC done after tanking hard vs f$u last Thurs night? Two big questions. I think VT will come out and play hard on both sides of the ball, but I (nor is anyone else) certain until the Hokies take the field. The Butch Davis era at UNC is in serious need of a signature win (lawds, don't let it happen this week) or the questions about his coaching ability will continue to linger. These Heels are similar to the 08 Hokies, very good D, bad OL, good, not great rb's and young, talented, but clueless wr's. The difference is the Heels Qb Yates can't create positive yards or buy time with his feet when things breakdown. Until UNC (or anyone else not named bc) beats VT in Lane on Thursday night, I can't pick them.

From BCO Pix2

Side note - I had a Tarheel acquaintance who use to get give me a hard time (when drinking) always asking what a Hokie was, then laughing. Finally one day I answered, that I did not know, however I do know what a Tarheel is ... a dumb, poor muthaphucka cause he couldn't afford shoes and walks on hot asphalt. He did not laugh at my answer.


Friday, October 30th
w Fn vu (6-1) [-3] at USF (5-2) 8:00 pm espn2
A nice Friday night game, though the bloom is coming off the USF rose as teams not named f$u confuse B.J. Daniels with zones and different looks, making him look like a freshman. In a year, maybe 2 he is going to be a stud, he is built like an outside nfl linebacker and moves like ... like a basketball player (he is.) Anyway, Coach Stewie has the neers humming along, though the team is clearly better with Sr Jarrett Brown at qb and not true freshman Geno Smith (who is going to be a stud in his own right.) Either way just give it to 5'5" EZ E look (and act) alike Noel Devine and let him jitterbug his way to one fitty and 2 td's. Only P.I.T.T. and w Fn vu have a shot to beat the 'nati this season. I sure hope it's the Fighting Wanny's.

Saturday, October 31st (Halloween!)
Ole Miss (5-2) at Auburn (5-3) [+4.5] 12:21 pm espn-gp/$ec network
Ummm ... it's an early filler game. Auburn is slipping away, figured out by $EC defenses, but one has to think Auburn OC Gus Malzahn will have something for his ex boss, Houston Nutt. From their brief time together at Arkansas, things apparently did not go well between the 2. Gus (and half the state's h.s. talent) was brought in to run the spread for Nutt who gave it about 2 mins and scrapped it. Nutt did keep Gus's Wildcat formation that has spread like the H1N1 throughout college and pro football (though Houston claimed his Brother developed it, haha.) Bad feelings, inner turmoil, kid's moms got into it ... yeah, life in the $EC. Could be a slobber knocker, certainly a bitter affair.

From BCO Pix2

Kans-ass (5-2) [+7.5] at Tejas Tech (5-3) 3:30 pm abc/espn-gp
A dog game but lots of points and anything could go. Both are up and down, but the Red Raiders lost to aTm by a shit ton. DAMN. The Jayhawks aren't much better and a loss here cements ... it's BASKETBALL SEASON for the preseason no. 1 team. Mike Leach vs Mangino ... I bet those pregame talks are interesting.

Florida (7-0) vs Ugga (4-3) [+16] 3:30 pm cbs
The world's largest cocktail party better be good, cause it's unlikely to be as entertaining as the past 2 alternating beat downs. Ugga isn't good, UF isn't explosive ... both will be properly motivated, resulting in a typical $EC game ... boring and slow defensive struggle. I'd consider picking Ugga ... well no I wouldn't and even if I wanted to the refs would keep me from it. Let's be honest, Tim Tebow hasn't been that good this year and is not Heisman worthy. Anyone who thinks he can be a NFL qb, spread or traditional needs to stop doing drugs.

From BCO Pix2

da U (5-2) [-7] at Wake Forest (4-4) 3:30 pm abc/espn2/espn-gp
Game is a lot less worth watching after da U choked it vs the Tigers and Navy beat Wake Forest without attempting one pass. Think about that, Coach PJ has and he just creamed his pants. Hell, he might not half to chop block. I may watch for a bit ... but not enthused.

Tejas (7-0) at Okie State (6-1) [+9] 8:00 pm abc/espn2
Part one of the main event, Horns vs Cowboys in the house Boone Pickens built. I remember this game when Les Miles was coach and it usually still follows suite. Okie State gets up by 3-4 td's in the first half, then Tejas comes roaring back to win, sometimes by 3 sometimes by multiple TD's. Tejas has their best game of the season last week, was it due to a shitty Mizzou team or are they hitting their stride? Okie St has been under the radar since the Houston loss, if they man up here and win ... Ruh-roh.

From BCO Pix2

SouthernCal (6-1) [-4] at Oregon (6-1) 8:00 pm abc/espn2
Part 2 of the main event, no team has gotten better from week 1 to week 8 as much as the Ducks. As long as Masoli is healthy at QB, this team is gonna be a tough out, the Ducks D is the 2nd best in the Pac10, behind ... The Men of Troy reloading and still getting it done (save that 1 game against a shitty conference foe.) Last week did the team half ass it on D and let the Beavers run it up and down the field or are their chinks in the armour. Having won at USC and ND, freshman QB sensation Matt Barkley will not be afraid of the O-Zone Saturday nightBoth teams have good wins but neither has an outstanding win. Come 11:15 or Saturday, one will. Until proven otherwise, if it's a big game, I gotta take Pete Carroll's team. I really, really want to take Oregon, almost as much as Boise State.

From BCO Pix2

Yeah, I geeked out and ordered the shirt, it's pretty damn cool.


World Series
Phillies in 6, I think they have a deeper starting rotation and are basically an American league team playing in the lessor Sr circuit. They also seem to be peaking a bit better. Could be a great series.

Beer post soon, with 2 Surly reviews.

ACC Coaches Power Poll - Mid Season

Ok, let's get over the borderline illegal blocking and "the joke" that anyone would take exception to illegal shots at player's knees and ankles. I mean come on folks, a missed call is a missed call, right?

John Graves is laughing at the Chop Block, guessing he may be motivated next season by this. Sweet a bitter rivalry.

Of course not but Paul Johnson knows this, he isn't dumb. He is playing the game, outside the game ... or something like that. I mean him and all his legion of nerdy fans bitched and moaned about calls last year, so don't go all hypocrite on us Paul, though I expect most of the fans will.

Anyway, time to move past and get ready for UNC.


Ok, a lil past the halfway point, let's do the ACC Coaches Power Poll. Note this is how I think the coaches are coaching, concerning the talent they have and the consistentcy to this point in the season. What they are doing the last 4 weeks is more heavily weighted in my non-scientific opinion than what they did in the first 4 weeks. algroh approves.

Previous here.

From BCO Pix2

Coaching Power Poll

1. Paul Johnson, GiT - offense is humming along, the defense might have also turned the corner & he's more surly than ever.
2. Frank Beamer, VT - Solid job this season but the defense has taken a step & half back, the O 2 steps forward.
3. Randy Shannon, da U - 1 year away, but the offense is very good, the D needs work. Grip on 3rd is tenuous.
4. David Cutcliffe, doook - Kicking ass & taking names lately. Doing more w/less than anyone, beat GiT & the Richmond loss is a distant memory.
5. Frank Spaziani, bc - Less talent than years previous but a tough resilient team still. Good first season, gonna be there awhile.
6. Dabo Swinney, Klempsum - A much mentally tougher team than Tommy ever had. Still up n down, but improved.
7. algroh, uva - 3-1 the last 4 games, including a couple beatdowns. I hope 2 more wins keeps him in town.
8. Jim Grobe, Wake Forest - 1 step fwd, 1 step back, 1 step fwd, 1 step back .....
9. Bobby Bowden, f$u - confused to put him the Exec HC, the Asst HC or the Coach in Waiting at this spot? Dadgumit doesn't know either.
10. Butch Davis, UNC - VT had a similar team last year, very good D, shitty OL & WR's ... makes me really appreciate Frank now.
11. Tom O'Brien, NC State - shitty job this season, save the P.I.T.T. win, was Spaz the true mastermind?
12. Ralph Friedgen, Md - get that resume out, toast.

Southern Pigskin column, nothing outstanding ... mostly filler comes out soon. I might not even link it. Dang!

HokieJayBee's NFL Week 7

What the hell is up my people? Week 7, NFL season 2009. Slow down! Almost half over. Deep breath. Here’s this week’s edition. I’ll call it, the “Really?” edition.

[I] 2009 Season Stats

Season Totals:

71.43% straight up picks for your office pool (60-24)

57.58% against the spread this year on recommended plays (38-28)

53.93% over-all including the recommended no-actions (48-41)

Last week I said, “I have never been more pissed at a decent/profitable week.” This week, I could safely say I’ve never been more pissed at team’s not playing like they should against weaker opponents. Hence, the “Really?” edition. Pittsburgh hosting Cleveland, Really? Jacksonville hosting St. Louis, Really? I even want to say Really? to the damn Jets hosting the Bills. Philly at Oakland, big ass Really?

Thoughts for the past week:

*I went (9-5) in the straight up picks for your office pool. Missed the yuck-fest coin flip KC/WASH, miss-called whether Jekyll or Hyde Houston would show up in Cinci, miss-called the league’s #1 team being NYG or NO. Not really pissed about any of those. But I am miffed about not knowing that when translated, “Mark Sanchez”, means “throw object of value to enemy” in some dialects of Spanish – stupid Jets. And Philly at Oakland, don’t even get me started.

*And I pushed this week with the book. Went (8-6) overall and (5-5) against the spread on the recommended picks. For you mathematicians, that’s (3-1) in NO ACTION plays as well.

*Means I’m still profitable for the year, but this week didn’t help a lick.

*I’m still pissed at myself a little bit. I figured Atlanta heading home would be fine against the Bears (game was in the balance until the final seconds), but I made it NO ACTION with the Bears coming off the bye. And I guess now, with a win at division rival San Diego, I can’t chicken out on my new found love, the Denver Broncos. Eddie Royal with cheese, please.

Season 2009, Trains I’m on:

*Peyton Manning (steady)

*Carson Palmer /Tom Brady (rehabilitation wonders)

*Vikings (against that tough Raven D, nice work. In fact, I’m going to watch you this weekend in Pittsburgh against another tough D. Favre and Peterson in person. Niiiiiiice.)

*Saints (48 on the Giants??!?!?!?)

*Broncos (I admit it now. Hi, I’m HokieJayBee, and I like the Broncos. Uniforms.)

Season 2009, Trains I’m not on:

*Michael Crabtree (got named the starter already, show me something)

*Braylen Edwards (ahhhh, welcome back Butterfinger Braylen)

*Clinton Portis, Jason Campbell, Jim Zorn (debacle)

*Ladainian Tomlinson. Hello? Bueller?

Train Watch List (could be going in either the right or wrong direction):

*Tom Brady/New England (59-0?!?!?!! 59? Is this Big12 football?)

*Joe Flacco (great stats, great plays, 3 game losing streak?)

Fell off the train:

*Matt Forte. Seriously WTF? Where’d you go? (oh, there you are, fumbling at the goal line)

*Larry Johnson. Grand ma ma? Hello? Larry? You still playing?

[II] Week 7 Picks/Comments – Enginerd Table

GAME		LINE	OFFICE POOL WINNER	SPREAD WINNER	FAVE OR DOG?	ACTION?	HEART / COMMENT	PREDICTED SCORE
1	IND @ STL	IND -13.5	IND	IND	FAVE	YES	I was watching some NFL type show this week and there was an analyst putting the Colts on “upset alert” here. Ummmm, what? Peyton and his band of merry men, off of a bye, at a winless Rams team? With the Brick Wall Bob Sanders returning at safety? Did I miss something? Like the entire Colts team has Swine Flu?	IND 37-6
2	MIN @ PITT	PITT -4.5	PITT	MINN	DOG	NO	Wowzers. Great game. And I’ll be there. Woot for weekend travels. I’m a chicken here, for a couple of reasons. First, it’s a NO ACTION game this week. But secondly, I’m chicken to take the Vikings to win this. I want to. But I will take them with the +4.5. I think the Vikings might be Super Bowl favorites over the Saints if they throw more wide screens to Peterson. Those pinching LB’s will be the death of any defense with Rice, Harvin, and Berrian getting behind them.	PITT 27-24 (Minnesota cover)
3	NE @ TB	NE -14.5	NE	NE	FAVE	YES	“at Tampa” here doesn’t ring true. Isn’t this game in London? Should the NFL revisit their plan to send the “New” England “Patriots” (aka revolutionary war winners) to England for a game? I honestly think I’d still take the Pats here if the spread were -24.5.	NE 34-6
4	CHI @ CIN	CIN -1.5	CHI	CHI	DOG	NO	Hey look, another good game, another NO ACTION game. I think I might’ve just rolled with Cinci at home here, had they handled Houston last week. Now a better than Houston, Bears team comes into town. I’m seeing a hard fought battle here, and a physical game. Injuries on D eventually undo the Bengals.	CHI 24-21 (Chicago outright win)
5	SD @ KC	SD -4.5	SD	SD	FAVE	YES	San Diego gets an easy game at KC to get back on the right track. With Denver at (6-0), SD can’t afford to lose again, until Denver starts losing. I see a big bounce back game here from Rivers and the Chargers. KC just doesn’t have the weapons to keep up in a score-fest. Rivers throws for 400.	SD 24-13
6	GB @ CLE	GB -6.5	GB	GB	FAVE	YES	Green Bay gets to play Detroit, then Cleveland, in a row? So in other words, extended bye weeks. So funny to see so much bad QB play. These owners are drooling over Bradford, McCoy, Tebow……and in other news, the Browns suck.	GB 27-10
7	SF @ HOU	HOU -3.5	HOU	HOU	FAVE	YES	San Francisco might be in trouble here in their division. Arizona appears to be back, and SF has to go on the road to see if Houston is Jekyll or Hyde this week. I’m liking Houston returning home here for this matchup. News flash, Andre Johnson is good. Scary good. Houston might be a force to start reckoning with, if Steve Slaton get his fumbling under control.	HOU 27-20
8	BUF @ CAR	CAR -6.5	CAR	CAR	FAVE	YES	This line was late to come out this week with QB Edwards on Buffalo hurt. Wouldn’t have mattered, taking Carolina at home here. They appear to be “back” in a sense. And if they truly have any playoff aspirations, they can’t lose again being in the same division with the Saints and Falcons. They simplified it, hand it to D’Angelo, block, watch him run. Then fake hand it to him, watch the linebackers tackle him empty handed, throw it deep. And the Bills are horrible.	CAR 23-10
9	NYJ @ OAK	NYJ -6.5	NYJ	NYJ	FAVE	YES	This is my last offering to the Jets, to be any where near thinking they can win games. Sanchez has to stop throwing it the other team, and that defense needs to tighten up and play like they were in the first 4 weeks. Luckily for them, they get rid of the Bills’ game hangover with a trip to the Raiders. [who just beat the Iggles?] no matter. Jets will bring the whacked out blitz package and Jamarcus Russell will do his best Mark Sanchez impression from last week.	NYJ 24-13
10	ATL @ DAL	DAL -3.5	ATL	ATL	DOG	NO	I’ve got a stinkin feeling here that ATL rolls up big on Dallas. Don’t know why. Dallas D brings no fear, and their secondary is horrid. Matt Ryan, Roddy White, and Tony Gonzo have HUGE days. I’m making it a NO ACTION game with Dallas coming off of a bye. They’ve had two weeks to prepare for the dirty birds, so I’ll chicken out.	ATL 27-23 (Atlanta outright win)
11	NO @ MIA	NO -6.5	NO	NO	FAVE	YES	Miami, and the Wildcat, and power running game will prove a worthy opponent, for a little while. They’ll try to play ball control and clock control and keep the ball away from the flying Drew Breeses. The Dolphins will keep the Saints from scoring………..48.	NO 33-20
12	ARI @ NYG	NYG -7.5	NYG	ARI	DOG	NO	Final chicken game of the week. Normally I’d jump right on NYG at home. But they just got exposed. If you just thrown all up and down the street on by the Saints, you’re not happy to see Bolding, Fitzgerald, and Breaston coming to town the following week. I think NYG pull this out, but not by more than the TD spread.	NYG 30-27 (Arizona cover)
13	PHI @ WAS	PHI -6.5	PHI	PHI	FAVE	YES [LOCK]	Locking it up against the Skins here. So many variables in Philly’s favor here, including one pissed off offense after the Oakland debacle last week. Washington has a stout D and will hold Philly in the 20’s. Only problem being they won’t break 10 themselves. Week 1 of the Sherm Lewis experiment. I’m so excited……..no I’m not.	PHI 24-9

--only taking four dogs this week.

-- 4 games recommended NO-ACTION (all 4 dogs)

-- I know it looks like, and is apparently starting to ring true, that I am really a big huge chicken. Only taking 4 dogs this week, and they’re all NO ACTION? One item of defense I offer, is that I chicken out on the games before I pick my side/winner. Meaning, I scan the list of games for the week when I start to write this, and I pick the 4 games that I don’t like the matchups. I have not picked a winner at this point, or even looked at the spreads. I just pick the 4ish games that I don’t like the game and generally they stay my NO ACTION games, regardless of the spreads that I then look up. (generally these spreads are close games as I’m picking tough matchups, so the spread usually has no bearing, or not enough, to make me switch the game to an ACTION game.) That’s a long drawn out explanation to

[III] 10 or so things I think I think.

1. I think these are my top 5 teams right now:

(Not in a hugely particular picky order.)

1. NO – smoke-waxed the NYG this week. Clear #1 to me now.
2. MINN – beat a strong BALT team this week. Keeps winning in different ways. Chance to pass NO this week if you can win at PITT.
3. INDY – some people have you at #1. I can’t on a bye week with NO and MINN beating good opponents.
4. DENV – I had them in my top 5 two weeks ago and now I don’t look chicken. Winning at San Diego, in division, with SD off of a bye. Huge win.
5. NEW ENG – many might question why no NYG in my list. Umm, they just got smoked, and NE did some smoking. Don’t hate. This spot could say NYG. 59-0 sways people ok?

2. I think these are my bottom 5 teams right now:

( Again not necessarily a hugely particular order.)

1. WASH – Three words. You suck. Bad.
2. TAMPA – pick a rookie QB and let them learn from here on out.
3. DET – that win vs. WASH doesn’t keep you off the bottom 5 list anymore. NFL teams should not get shutout.
4. TENN – new comer to the list, as I kept thinking “they are the strongest winless team in the league” because of strength of scheduled opponents. Nope, you suck.
5. STL – moving down the bottom 5 list (which is moving in the right direction) with a good showing into overtime at JAX this past week, but winless is winless. Also, you get to play Peyton this week.

3. I think now it’s been two weeks, and I need to eat crow on my crow eating regarding Braylen Edwards. Couldn’t get open against a bad Bills secondary? And I know your QB had one of the worst statistical days in the history of the NFL, but you don’t give up on routes. Tisk tisk. You stepped it up for your first game as a NYJ, on Monday Night Football, but I guess that was more spotlight craving than football prowess. Show me something here Braylen, help the rookie QB out of the funk, don’t pout about it.

4. I think the Tennessee Titans had -7 yards passing in their emancipating 0-59 game at New England this week. Yes, -7, negative 7 yards passing. I had to go look up the game stats to see if I missed something, like they had 100 yards passing, but got sacked so many times for 107 yards that they had -7 yards passing, like the NFL does count sack yards differently than college I know, but maybe I missed a rule change where it would count against the ‘passing’ stats. Nope. They had two completions. One for 15 yards. And one for -22 yards. Ow.
5. I think last week I waxed poetic on the fact that there somehow aren’t 32 good quarterbacks in the world, and especially not in the league. The bad play at QB this year is amazing. Just amazing. I’m not seeing interceptions of the variety of great defensive back play, I’m seeing a ton, a TON, of picks thrown directly to guys. Just bad, bad passes. All these “great athletes” coming out of college to play QB are a joke. Gimme a not-superman-armed, but accurate, passer anyday.
6. I think the Pittsburgh Steelers are still the best team in football……..when they want to be. They don’t have that killer instinct they used to. They don’t put that nail in the coffin or put fear in their opponents like they used to. I know they won by 13 this week. But it was Cleveland. And that game got tight in the middle when Cribbs got a return back and Cleveland got the ball right back. Cleveland is horrible. The Steelers should have stomped them in division and won going away for a confidence booster game going into a game hosting undefeated Minnesota this week.
7. I think I love what I’m seeing from Brett Favre this year. Total rejuvenation. I mean, he’s like a kid out there, playing a game he loves. Did anyone else see the end of the game last week against Baltimore? When he was downtrodden because he thought the Baltimore kicker hit the game winning field goal. Only to question his teammates (Tarvaris Jackson) when they were celebrating. You could see Tarvaris say, “no, he missed it”, and Brett goes ballistic like a kid who just got his first Nintendo.
8. I think the stats of the week that I’m astonished by:
1. The Jets threw 6 interceptions this past week. Five by Mark Sanchez, and one by the field goal holder on a bad snap/hold. Peewee football stuff.
2. 6 is a funny number as well because the Redskins scored 6 points this week against the winless Chiefs. While scoring 6 points, that number was surpassed by their number of three-and-outs. Of which they had 7. Disgraceful “professional” football.
9. This week’s Jerome Bettis Award goes to those Kansas City Chiefs though. In your win over Washington this past week, your first, giving you a good clean record of……..(1-5)……….you gave your coach the Gatorade bath. Really? I don’t care that you were winless this year. I don’t even care that it was Coach Todd Haley’s first ever win as a head coach. You’re (1-5). You beat a worse shitty team. You don’t Gatorade bath for that. Has the Gatorade bath lost that much value?
10. This week’s Just Shut Up Award goes to a multiple time recipient of the award. Both as a player, and now as a broadcaster. Keyshawn Johnson. On Monday Night Countdown before this week’s DENV/SD game, you could be seen on ESPN dissing on WR’s and RB’s for pouting and bad attitudes on the sidelines, to include complaining to or about their coaches and playcalling. Really? Keyshawn, pot, kettle? Seriously, you, unfortunately, are not one that can diss on the current players for sideline whining or attitude. Let Ditka do that. He sits to your right. You just shut up and speak with Coach Ditka says so.

College Football Viewing Guide Week 8 (Trick Edition)

From BCO Pix2

VT's bye week could not have come on a better weekend. After a tough loss where the O and D both disappeared for a different half each, they need to regroup and push through the rest of the season. We could get a B12 South 3 team tie with 1 loss situation, but I don't think that will happen. One team is going to slip up, lawds ... please let that be GiT. Couple no VT game with not 1 marquee game this week and your Saturday is FREE. Sure there are some ok games, but none worth scheduling down time to see. Good thing, I have an outdoor chili/firepit/cornhole/beer drinking function to attend from 5pm to whenever I get forced to go home by my wiminz (I sure hope Dirt gets the Vs channel in HD.)

From BCO Pix2

This weekend I am looking for upsets, each season there seems to be 1 maybe 2 Buster Douglas weekends. I want chaos, I want the faves to eat it, specially the one from Atlanta. Now that VT is out, playing the ole, hope everyone burns now card. BYU, MissAgain, Udub and da U are the upsets that I think might happen, but I don't have the balls to pick all 4 out right, but I do for 2. This is a down year in college football, not only is parity ruling, but its' mediocre parity to boot. Who are the great teams? Hell who is the great team? Maybe Bammer, right now, that's it. A couple top teams are going to lose, but who?

From BCO Pix2

A sneak peak at Halloween weekend's games ... UNC-VT, w Fn vu-USF, World's Largest Cocktail party, Tejas-Okie St and SouthernCal-Oregon. Psst ... this means get things done this weekend, gladly hang out with the family, it's the trick matchup weekend. However next weekend lies the treat and your ass needs to be couch bound with a 24 hour virus or something.

Last week's picks and to date tally
straight up 6-2 to date 37-19 --- 66%
against the spread 5-3 to date 28-28 --- 50%

A better week for sure, looks like a typical 2008 picks week. Another and I can be over 50% against the spread for the first time since .... 2008!


This Week's Picks

Thursday, October 22nd
f$u (2-4) [+2] at UNC (4-2) 8:00pm espn
A dog game and if it weren't such a bad week of games plus it's a Thursday night tradition, it would not make the cut. Basically this game comes down to which is worse, the Nole D or the UNC O? Tough, Tough call, both are ass. UNC has no gamebreakers to speak of on O and the OL is beat up and below average. They do have solid rb's but pedestrian wr's, who actually might look great vs a bad nole secondary and simple man2man scheme. If f$u loses, they will be 2-5 and their bowl streak will likely come to an end. For that alone, it will be worth watching. Going against the flow and picking an Atlantic team over the Coastal opponent. Sorta like rubbernecking when driving past an accident ... show me CARNAGE!

From BCO Pix2

Saturday, October 24th
GiT (6-1) [-5.5] at uva (3-3) noon raycom/espn-gp
1990. That's the last time the jackets rambling wrecked outta c-ville with a win. That was the hoos best team ever, but they weren't good enough to take care of either Tech's on their schedule. After starting 0-3 and the hoos have won 3 in a row and looking like dare I say it a solid football team. They are the last undefeated team in the ACC. I hope they enjoyed first place this week, cause it's going to come to a crashing end come Saturday. I'll shit my pants if the Hoos stop the spread option while VT could not. Might be a bit of let down on O this week by GiT but they should score pretty easily. The D well, the 2nd half of the VT showed their true colors. uva will score on them, but not enough. BCO is pulling for the hoos and I don't feel dirty saying it.

Klempson (3-3) at da U (5-1) [-5.5] 3:30 pm abc/espn-gp
Left for dead like uva and Maryland (still dead) the Tigers rebounded last week by spanking another below average ACC Atlantic team, the Deacs of WF. The Klempson D is good, sometimes very good but the O ... well it's just as shitty without Tommy Bowden. Da U is cruising along, right now the faves to go the the ACCCG and smack down some shit ass Atlantic opponent. A CU win here could save their season and push them ahead as the Coastal favorites. A lot to play for game and they certainly have enough athletes to matchup with the Canes. How mature are these young Canes, can they keep focus? Will they slip up this year? This is one of those type of games. However this should be tons better than the bc-NCState abc 3:30 game of last week.

From BCO Pix2

Oregon (5-1) at Udub (3-4) [+9.5] 3:30 pm abc/espn-gp
Ever since the cold cock heard round the cfb world (5 trillion times on the ESPN family) the Ducks have weathered injuries on both sides of the ball, improved and look like bonafide Pac10 contenders. Obvious statement of the column, Coach Chip Kelly has a bright future. However, don't be fooled by the Huskies record, this is a decent football team that can pull off the upset {cough} SouthernCal {cough.} I expect a pretty decent amount of points and anytime you can watch John Locker, do it. Will Oregon be looking ahead to the Halloween home game vs SouthernCal? I think they just might.

State Penn (6-1) [-4] at MissAgain (5-2) 3:30 pm abc/espn
JoePaPa's team gets their 2nd good game of the season, 8 games in ... bout damn time. The OOC cupcakes are gone, now it's just the B1+10's cupcakes left. As much as I want the Nittany Lions to lose the Wolverine D is atrocious. I expect a fun, up n down the field game that may come down to the last few minutes. If Tate Forcier were a 100% healthy, maybe I would consider UM win. Until that D improves, I can't take them vs good competition.

From BCO Pix2

Tennysee (3-3) [+ 15.5] at bammer (7-0) 3:30pm cbs
The Vols aren't good, QB Jonathan Crompton is the Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde of QBing, but it seems they play UP for the good teams and down to the big ones (Kiffin taking after Carroll a bit.) Monte will have a good gameplan to try and take away all of the sudden Heisman candidate Tide rb, Mark Ingram. That plan is load the box and make the slowly sliding Greg McElroy beat them through the air. This is another team that Kiffin trashed in the offseason, even stealing a recruiting coordinator from Saban. Just a lil more bad blood for this +ACQ-EC feud. Can the Tide do what the Gators could not, beat down and show who is boss to Kiffin's Vols? The post game asshole handshake should be interesting to watch.

TCU (6-0) at BYU (6-1) [+ 2] 7:30 p.m. vs
ESPN's College Gameday heads to Provo, Utah for what may be the best game of the day. First, let's get it out of the way, The Fightin' Mormons can't be that good, they got handled in 6wife city by the shitty Noles back when everyone thought Dadgumit had a team. However, this is a conference game at a hard place to play with ESPN's crew in tow, so the peeps will be jacked. The Cougars will be drunk on the Book of Mormon and f-bombing in the name of Joseph Smith, Jr. TCU should be battle ready after a couple ACC wins and games like this could send them over Boise State in the computers for the Non-BCS team, bowl exception. They will be jacked and ready to play.

From BCO Pix2

Oregon State (4-2) [-20.5] at SouthernCal (5-1) 8:00pm abc/espn-gp
The 2008 team that saved the nation from a Trojan chest beating now gets their 2009 shot. This year Udub saved the nation from the pompous fans, but they had help since USC was without Matt Barkley and Taylor Mays. Barkley has come a long way and he is going to be a BEAST in 2010, believe it. However for a team with a loaded backfield and very good OL the Trojan offense (outside the ND game) hasn't been as good as expected. So was last week the break out game or Irish induced anamoly? The Beavers have the Rodgers brothers and they are a handful, for them to win 1 or both have to go off.

Parting shot, if you think your team stinks consider this updated Redskins logo .... and then realize, things aren't so bad after all, unless you are Skins fan too.

From BCO Pix2

pic stolen from the pigskin pit.

LAMPE!!!!!!!

GD Lampe!!!!!!

From BCO Pix2

You had to ask, not once but twice ... if Texas lost to OU with the loser of Bama vs UF that would put VT in the National Championship game. Quote from FaceBook

check the math.
LSU loses to FL on Sat...we're up to #4
TX loses to OK following weekend..we're up to #3
We run the table and wait for FL-AL in the SEC Champ and play the winner for the National Title

Damn you, the loss is ALL on you. I told you before that to not put the cart before the horse (when asked if VT would be ahead of Boise State in the initial BCS standings.) You jinxed us, Rich was incorrect, your negative mojo is strong!

Lampe is the ETERNAL JINX

but he doesn't effect Tech..too insignificant.

To Hell with both of you.

Ok, that felt better. A couple quick, not too in depth thoughts.

From BCO Pix2

I am disappointed but I expected it. GiT home dog, fired up, the D told they suck all week by the coaches. They came out ready to play. Our O did not help them. How bout we just run the inside zone play EVERY FUCKING time. Don't worry about the extra defender or 2, they suck. Uggh. They did play very well that second half, but why wait til then to make adjustments? The D played it's ass off the first half. Speaking of which ...

Way to get railroaded that 2nd half fellows. Foster changed the scheme to play the D from last season. Same basic wants ... let anyone but Dwyer beat you, namely Nesbitt. Ummm, he did. Last season the responsibility to watch, hit, hammer Nesbitt was on the senior middle linebackers. He changed the scheme and put that priority on the whip and rover with Kam over the top to help. Once PJ figured that out, the D was toast that 2nd half as Bud had no fixes for this. That option is a bitch to prepare for and that tweak was not expected and no adjustment was practiced. Sigh. I will say the D got a lot worse when Graves went out. I want to know if he got hurt on a chop block. If so, that's pretty shitty. No one can convince me that chop blocking should not be illegal.

I could get deeper, but I expected the D to be tested and our O to get a better effort from the Jackets than f$u got. Collegegameballs had a too common a Frank face during losses. We all hate seeing this!

From BCO Pix2

So what does this all mean? First, uva is living on borrowed time with the Big 3 still on their sched. It's a 3 team race.


The tie breakers.

1. Combined head-to-head record among teams.

2. Record of the tied teams within the division.

3. Head-to-head competition against the team within the division with the best overall (divisional or conference) record, and proceeding through the division. Multiple ties within the division will be broken first to last.

4. Overall record versus all common non-divisional teams. (If they all played NC State, for example. We’ll use the Atlantic Division because of this particular scenario everyone is interested in.)

5. Combined record against all common Atlantic Division teams.

6. Record against common Atlantic Division teams with the best overall conference record, and then proceeding through the other common Atlantic Division opponents based on their order of finish in the division.

7. This one is kind of like the Big 12 tiebreaker that caused such a fuss last year, except a little smarter. The team with the highest ranking in the BCS Standings following the end of the regular season season will be the division winner UNLESS—and this is the key—UNLESS the second of the tied teams is ranked within five or fewer places of the highest ranked tied team. In that case, the head-to-head results of those two teams would determine who plays in the ACCCG. So if Miami and Virginia Tech were both ranked in the top 10 of the final BCS Standings, and the Canes were within five spots of the Hokies, Virginia Tech would win.

8. Worst case scenario? A draw determines the winner.

Toss out 1 thru 6 if it's a 3 way tie. Just read 7 and 8. 8's a bit scary.

HokieJayBee's NFL Week 6

What the hell is up my people? Week 6, NFL season 2009. This is my “they are who we thought they were edition!” I haven’t seen disparity between the upper class and lower class like we’re seeing in the NFL right now since the feudal times. Yeah, medieval times reference out this piece.

[I] 2009 Season Stats

Season Totals:

72.86% straight up picks for your office pool (51-19)

58.93% against the spread this year on recommended plays (33-23)

53.33% over-all including the recommended no-actions (40-35)

I have never been more pissed at a decent/profitable week. I went (10-4) in the straight up picks for your office pool, (8-5) in money picks overall, and (6-4) in spread picks taking out the NO ACTIONS. All profitable. But man…..so close to another killer week.

Why am I pissed:

*stupid Seattle injuries made it so the game didn’t have a line by print time for the newsletter. So I had to make it a NO ACTION game. I wanted to take SEA at home (would have been right) and since it became NO ACTION, I had to make NYJ/MIA an action pick when it was a worry game for me (got it wrong in a great MNF game).

*Dallas and Pittsburgh against Kansas City and Detroit respectively. Really? Can’t cover against those teams? Really? I’ll say it again, this time I won’t be cute or beat around the bush, someone tell the Steelers that these games are 60 minutes long!!!! You have to finish. You’re one Culpepper bomb away from being tied with the Lions!!!! Really?

*and I’m pissed at myself for being a chicken. I so wanted to take Denver at home against New England, and Miami at home against the Jets. I wanted to. I had ‘em both picked as upsets, but chickened out. I need to go with my gut more and not what the paper and numbers and numbers say sometimes.

But again, I’ll take a (6-4) week any week. Taking money from the book is fun, and profit is profit. I was a bad Dallas and Pittsburgh 4^th quarter, and a chicken pick in Miami/NYJ, away from a (9-1) week. (Denver/New England was NO ACTION either way)

Season 2009, Trains I’m on:

*Peyton Manning (ironic that two of the letters in MVP are P and M? I had to google to see if his middle name was Victor or something)

*Carson Palmer (at Baltimore! Game winning drive against that D!)

*Vikings (wow, just wow, I know it was the Rams, but still)

*Saints/Giants (we’ll know more this week with NYG @ NO)

Season 2009, Trains I’m not on:

*Michael Crabtree ( you’ve got one week after the bye week, then you’re dead to me)

*Braylen Edwards (who is the new guy on the Jets with this name? and what have you done with the real Braylen Edwards?)

*Clinton Portis, Jason Campbell, Jim Zorn (I just threw up in my mouth thinking about my favorite team)

*Ladainian Tomlinson. Hello? Bueller?

Train Watch List (could be going in either the right or wrong direction):

*San Fran (and this is why I have a “watch list” and you don’t get to jump on the train immediately)

*Joe Flacco (see comment, above, San Fran)

*Brandon Marshall (one more TD and one more head coach hug and I’m buying my train tickets)

Fell off the train:

*Matt Forte. Seriously WTF? Where’d you go? (let’s see out of the bye week)

*Larry Johnson. Grand ma ma? Hello? Larry? You still playing?

[II] Week 6 Picks/Comments – Enginerd Table

GAME		LINE	OFFICE POOL WINNER	SPREAD WINNER	FAVE OR DOG?	ACTION?	HEART / COMMENT	PREDICTED SCORE
1	STL @ JAC	JAC -10.5	JAC	JAC	FAVE	YES	Jacksonville got a mudhole stomped in their face last week in Seattle. I don’t think that was the right defense. Nothing like heading home to the East Coast to host the Rams to get healthy. Jack Del Rio might be on a little bit of a hot seat this week. This D will be hyped this week and they might pitch a shutout.	JAC 23-3
2	KC @ WAS	WAS -6.5	WAS	KC	DOG	YES	I hate my favorite team. HATE. 17-2 last week in the 4th quarter at winless Carolina? Loss. I think they can beat a winless KC at home this week, but not by a touchdown. Pick up these two field goal kickers for your fantasy teams this week.	WAS 16-13 (KC cover)
3	HOU @ CIN	CIN -4.5	CIN	CIN	FAVE	YES	Cinci returns home after a huge win at Baltimore. Their D is nasty. Houston can’t make up their mind if they’re good or not. I don’t see them figuring it out this week on the road at “Who-Dey” park. Ocho Cinco in the endzone again? Carson continues to show well.	CIN 27-17
4	BAL @ MIN	MIN -2.5	MIN	MIN	FAVE	NO	I will admit it again, just like last week. I am a chicken. There are 4 games on the slate this week I won’t touch. Just too close for me to call, and did I mention I’m a chicken. Baltimore is going to come in pissed off after dropping to Cinci last week, and to prove/learn how they match up against a top tier NFC team. Minnesota just keeps getting it though. They have so many weapons to choose from right now. Minnesota at home here, in a NO ACTION pick.	MINN 27-22
5	DET @ GB	GB -10.5	GB	GB	FAVE	YES [LOCK]	LOCK IT UP. Detroit will not get it done here at Green Bay off of Packer bye. Look for Aaron Rodgers to play so well people forget he can’t spell “Rogers”. I honestly couldn’t believe this one wasn’t a 2-TD spread the way Vegas has been tossing up huge spreads all year.	GB 34-13
6	CLE @ PIT	PIT -13.5	PIT	PIT	FAVE	YES	Last chance for me to like PITT with a spread and not just the money line. I think they’ll get it done this week for 4 quarters, AND they get the hapless Browns into town. The 2-TD spread doesn’t scare me here.	PITT 30-10
7	CAR @ TB	CAR -2.5	CAR	CAR	FAVE	YES	Carolina is coming off a big comeback win last week. Big in that they were a playoff team last year, and if they have any sort of aspirations this year, it starts now. Tampa is out of synch on O, and their D is old and under a new coordinator.	CAR 17-10
8	NYG @ NO	NO -3.5	NYG	NYG	DOG	NO	HUGE game. And I’m a HUGE chicken. I think we’ll see the traditional football of the NYG here win out over the new fangled style of the Saints. I like the Saints, I really do. But I see a tight well played game on both sides here, and a close one. So even if the Saints pull it out, I think it’ll only be by a FG. So -3.5 is too much for me, but still low enough that I’m a chicken.	NYG 26-24 (NYG outright win)
9	ARI @ SEA	SEA -2.5	ARI	ARI	DOG	YES	Arizona coming off of a bye week, traveling up to Seattle. Seattle looked good last week hosting JAX, but I see ‘zona coming in prepared. Like I said, they’re coming off of a bye. But I also don’t think ‘zona is going to drop their second divisional game here.	ARI 27-20 (ARI outright win)
10	PHI @ OAK	PHI -13.5	PHI	PHI	FAVE	YES	Another 2-TD spread. Another Oakland game where I don’t even flinch at taking them to cover, let alone win. Philly might have 3 quarterbacks with a better QB rating in the game than Jamarcus Russell. LOL $30 million dollar 1st rounder!	PHI 37-6
11	BUF @ NYJ	NYJ -9.5	NYJ	NYJ	FAVE	YES	The NYJ’s D was nasty, then Miami and Wildcat pissed them off. I wouldn’t want to be Trent Edwards or the Bills’ O line this week. Tough to see a -9.5 spread in a divisional rivalry – but this one will get out of hand. Sanchez to Edwards! What?	NYJ 24-3
12	TEN @ NE	NE -9.5	NE	NE	FAVE	YES	Another bad looking team heading into a pissed off AFC East team’s house. Vince Young sighting #2 for the year, for good now? New England will get their Bronco loss out of their heads here. Sorry Tennessee.	NE 33-13
13	CHI @ ATL	ATL -3.5	ATL	ATL	FAVE	NO	Another great game, another chicken soup for HokieJayBee’s picks. Two great young QB’s matching up here. It’s NO ACTION for me. I would take ATL straight up at home here, except Chicago is coming off of a bye and ATL is coming home after a West Coast game last week.	ATL 24-20
14	DEN @ SD	SD -3.5	DEN	DEN	DOG	NO	And here’s where I’m almost upset with myself for my chicken-dom. I guess I need one more week on Denver to really be in love? 5-0 and beating the Belichick’s last week wasn’t enough? I guess heading on the road on MNF is causing me some chicken thoughts, and SD is coming off of a bye to host a home divisional game.	DEN 24-20 (DEN outright win)

--only taking four dogs this week. And two of those are NO ACTIONs.

-- 4 games recommended NO-ACTION (2 dogs, 2 faves)

[III] 10 or so things I think I think.

1. I think these are my top 5 teams right now:

(Not in a hugely particular picky order.)

1. NYG – Eli Manning, hopping on one foot holding a rubber chicken and doing the Hokie Pokie > Jamarcus Russell this past week.
2. MINN – game managing old QB defined. Hand it to Adrian Peterson. Throw some short outs and screens to really fast receivers. Watch Jared Allen and company bring havoc.
3. NO – big time game this week at home against the G-men. Huge showdown.
4. INDY – ummm, Austin Collie, Pierre Garcon, Donald Brown? Major Colts contributors, courtesy, Peyton Manning.
5. DENV – I moved them up here last week in a preview of my chicken-ness to pick them over New England. Orton isn’t horrible. Doesn’t matter, that D is NASTY!

2. I think these are my bottom 5 teams right now:

(I refuse to limit myself. I’m naming 7. Again no hugely particular order.)

1. CLEV – I guess you can’t be #1 on this list with a win right? Wrong. 6-3 with a 2 for 17 quarterback is not a “win”. All it did is make room for Buffalo to join you on this list.
2. STL – I think some of this week’s game was Minnesota’s dominance, the other half was you sucking. Just because you’re wearing the Jim Everett era jerseys doesn’t mean you have to play like them.
3. OAK – Jamarcus Russell will make a guaranteed $30 million dollars this season and following. He has 51 completions this year. If they give up and bench him now, they will have paid him $588,235.29 per completion before taxes.
4. TAMPA – well, you lost to the Redskins despite having a +39 turnover ratio over Jason Campbell. The Redskins recently lost to the Lions, who recently lost to USC, who recently lost to UW, who recently lost to Notre Dame. I hate Brady Quinn. And Charlie Weis is fat.
5. KC – I’m wondering how bad that buyer’s remorse feeling is on Matt Cassell? And where the eff is Larry Johnson?

3. I think it’s only been one week, but I might have to eat some crow on Braylen Edwards. Maybe he did just need a change of scenery. To quote me, “Is it just me, or is taking a pre-madonna-locker-room-poison-spotlight-whore-wide receiver out of Cleveland and putting him in New York not the right answer?” Ummmm, if Monday Night Football’s spotlight, after practicing for 2 days with a new team, is any indication – I’ll take my crow with salt and ketchup.

4. I think I’m just flat amazed at the disparity in the NFL. There’s like no middle class. It’s becoming clearly a league of have’s and have-not’s. and, and, and – the next collective bargaining agreement might come to pass with a league WITHOUT a salary cap! There will then be an even larger gap in team skill levels.
5. I think the gap between the have’s and have-not’s can clearly be defined with the QB play. How are there not 32 good quarterbacks in America right now? How? Serious, serious bad QB play on the bad teams lately. How can these GM’s and owners willingly keep writing these big ass checks?
6. I think the other very very very distinct part that explains the have’s and have-not’s in the NFL is the coaching carousels. These owners have WAY too quick of a hook on their coaching staffs, and never let any of the coaches get a handle on things in less than 3 seasons. These same owners are the ones I discuss in #5 above that are giving WAY too much leeway to these bad quarterbacks.
7. I think I don’t think anything else about the NFL this week. Man is college football really heating up!
8. I think my non-football thought for the week is that it’s the baseball series this weekend for the league pennants. Did you know? Do you care? Also, NBA preseason started. And, the NHL started up last week too. Hello? You too? Football tunnel vision.
9. This week’s Jerome Bettis Award – I have two!
1. Two straight weeks with a 49er receiving this award. Takeo Spikes last week, Dre Bly this. I’m pretty sure one Mike Singletary is not too happy with these guys being the recipients of this award. Dre Bly made an interception of Matt Ryan in last week’s game. As he was returning it, in the open field, that I have to assume he thought he had a clear path to the end zone for touchdown, he started doing the “prime time” Deion-Sanders-hand-behind-the-head-high-stepping-dance down the field. I guess since he was playing the Falcons, where Deion made it famous? Even though not one Atlanta player or coach was ever a teammate of Deion’s, and some of them were 9 years old when he made it famous………oh, did I mention you didn’t score a TD on the play? Did I mention the part where Roddy White (Falcon’s WR) ran you down from behind while you danced and caused you to fumble it back to the Falcons? Even Jerome Bettis didn’t dance *DURING* the play.
2. The second award this week goes to Donnie Avery, WR, of the Rams. Now the namesake for this award is Jerome Bettis, and dancing on a play that doesn’t deserve dancing or celebrating. You scored a TD this week, your first of the year. Perhaps a little celebration is warranted, perhaps. But not a full out blown choreographed dance number, to pull your team to within four touchdowns of the Vikings, at 35-7. There’s just times when you hand the ball to the ref and go back to your sideline. Getting 7 in a 35-0 game is one of those times.
10. This week’s Just Shut Up Award – this week’s award goes to me hating on all these WR’s. Brandon Marshall and his coach can be seen hugging at a practice facility near you, and he’s playing like the big-time WR he said he would be. Michael Crabtree signed with the 49ers and looks to play in two weeks after their bye week. With him in the slot, it can only help Josh Morgan and Isaac Bruce on the outside. Braylen Edwards already looks like a new man on the Jets. And, maybe they introduced him to gloves or stick-um or something. Cleveland fans have to be pissed if they watched Braylen 2.0 play Monday night.